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Bringing Up a Boy

When I was pregnant with Tristan, a woman asked me whether I'd like a boy or a girl. I remember giving her the standard, but truly heartfelt, reply that I didn't mind as long as he or she was born healthy. The lady laughed and told me that in her opinion, all mothers should have a son and all fathers deserved to have a daughter, and that she was hoping I'd get to have a little boy.

I never really thought of it again, but after six years of being a mother to Tristan, I think I now understand what she meant.

I adore the closeness I have with Tristan. He’s unbelievably open, full of energy, affectionate, fantastic at communicating and generally delightful to be around. I always describe him as the light and joy of my life. I love his inquisitive mind, outrageous sense of humour and his passion to take on anything and everything at a million miles an hour.

I also love the active relationship I share with him. He’s up for any sport. He particularly loves to wrestle and tackle, kick a ball around, and ride a bicycle. He never worries much about fashion, and I am glad I don’t have to debate with him about what to wear for the day.

I've always wondered though how it would be like to bring up a little girl. I do spend a lot of time with my friends’ daughters, who I love dearly. But I tend to struggle when it comes to talk of doing their hair and their endless love for accessories, not to mention the hours pondering over clothes.

I'm grateful for how simple it's been to raise my boy so far. It's a very rare occasion in our household when he will be grumpy for any length of time. If he’s annoyed about something, rather than stew on it for hours, he lets me know straight away. We resolve the issue and forget it.

The same happens if he’s got a problem with a friend at school. He came home from school one day and said, "Tim said I was silly. We are not friends anymore, mummy!" Two days later they’re both close friends again.

For now, I wish I could just help guide him when he goes to P1 next year and subsequently through his tumultuous teenage years…hopefully avoiding all the terrible pitfalls you hear about.

I really want him to feel safe, loved, but not suffocated, and happy. My only other wish is that he’ll always be happy to give me one of his lovely cuddles.

Shenielle Aloysis
Editor